Meet The Cookies

Three variations of chocolate: dark chocolate, rich chocolate and milk chocolate. A mix of both chips and chunks for textural variation. Caramelized butter based dough with the slightest hint of coffee to leave your taste buds guessing. Maldon sea salt, just a pinch, to make you salivate and balance the sweetness.

Cake batter. Why? Uhm… because it’s a birthday cake cookie? Caramelized butter because it’s way tastier (and boujier) than regular butter. Vanilla frosting because everyone hates the asshat that shows up to the Birthday party with some super random icing flavor. Oh, and there is also confetti and sprinkles because we’re celebrating your pretty face.

Peanut Butter, always natural. Peanut Butter cups and chips. Peanut Butter Swirl. Milk Chocolate. Maldon Sea Salt, sprinkled to taste.

Lemon, obviously. Lemon Zest (for zest). Marshmallow and vanilla chips to add some fluffy, gooey, fatty sweetness to that zest.

Milk chocolate. Dark chocolate. Dutch chocolate. Okay, now we’re just showing off. Espresso, just a hint not enough to leave you jumping off the walls like you’re playing the floor is lava. And, in the center of all of it there is ooey-gooey chocolate core made of ganache, just a fancy schmancy word for chocolate cream.

Macadamia Nuts, toasted. Butter, caramelized. Caramel, salted. Extra rich thick cut white chocolate chunks. A nice sprinkling of Maldon Sea Salt.

Milk, malted. Malt balls. Light Cocoa. Chocolate, both white and semi-sweet. Oreo’s, in fat chunks because no one likes Oreo pixy-dust.

Apple Cider Vinegar (for the twang). Buttermilk powder (for more twang). Light cocoa base (for a sweet twang). Homemade extra velvety cream cheese frosting to make your taste buds feel like they’re on an emotional roller-coaster. Red food coloring? Go f*ck yourself.

Wild blueberries from Maine or somewhere near Maine. Those same wild blueberries made into a puree. And, of course, streusel. Crafted on Drury Lane directly across from the Muffin Man’s headquarters.

Cinnamon, duh. Sugar, duh. Everything nice, duh. Cinnamon streusel, cinnamon graham cracker crust and a generous vanilla milk swirl because we fucking love you. Oh, and we stuff the damn thing with a cinnamon bun filling because we’re deviants.

Fat, fluffy marshmallows, toasted. Dark chocolate for bite. Milk chocolate for love. Cinnamon Graham cracker crust (because what’s a S’more without some Graham Crackers). And, a drizzle of dark chocolate to add the perfect amount of bite.

Marshmallows, thick. Pudding, extra-thick. Ivory white chocolate. Crispy (never soggy) vanilla wafers. Banana. Like, the actual banana not the fake kind that our chemists will have to lie about years down the road. We don’t even have chemists.

Cocoa Powder, as dark as night. Milk Chocolate. Fresh Strawberry Preserve Filling that your grandmama would beat a fruit vendor to spread over her biscuits. Chocolate Ganache Filling (raises pinky). All protected within a Dark Chocolate shell and festooned with a Vanilla A’Peels Drizzle for stylistic flair.

Oreos and a whole lot of them. Oreo Filling Swirl made in-house to fill in the gaps. Chocolate, semisweet like you. Layers and layers of Vanilla Buttercream. And, to top it all of, a homemade Oreo Crumble.

There are the microwaveable cinnamon rolls you have to beat against your countertop like a sick twisted game of whack-a-mole and then there is this one. Cinnamon, like you’ve never tasted before. Cinnamon swirl so picturesque you’d want to hang it on your living room wall. Vanilla Bean Cream Cheese Icing, frantically blanketed over the top of this mound like a worried mother whose child has caught a cold.

Freshly-squeezed Key Lime Juice. Pucker up. Freshly grated Key Lime Zest. Pucker up. Freshly made Key Lime Pudding. Pucker up. Freshly extracted Key Lime Extract. Pucker up. Egg Yolks for that ooey-gooey texture (and so we can shrug this whole thing off as a “good, clean source of protein”). Sweetened Condensed Milk. White Chocolate. Graham Cracker Crust that holds the bottom of this cookie like a lover’s gentle embrace. And, Marshmallow, torched to such a bronzed perfect that you’d swear you’re sitting fire-side.

Carrots. Not for you, Bugs Bunny. Buttermilk, good and thick like your grandmama likes it. Walnuts, delectably candied. Spices (sorry, we can’t divulge those here). Raisins. Golden, like you, kid. Orange Zested Cream Cheese Frosting that tastes like an Orange Tree in Southern California decided to get into the dairy business. And, all of this topped with a homemade carrot cake so good we have to keep it under lock and key.

If you think Disney knows a thing or two about Churros, you’ve obviously never sat down at the dessert table with us. At first glance, our Churro cookie seems pretty straightforward: Cinnamon, sugar, butter. But then, like your pretentious friend who did one semester abroad in France and returned wearing a beret... Feuilletine. What the hell is Feuilletine, you ask? Like your one pretentious friend, we’re so glad that you asked. It’s a crispy French pastry made from sweetened crepes. All of this deliciousness is then filled with a Dulche De Leche cream filling. Because, what’s a Churro without something delectable to dunk it in?

Hand-chopped chocolate, both Milk and Dark, imported from France. Semi-sweet Chocolate Callets (if you want “chocolate chips” go buy some Chips Ahoy). Two kinds of flour. Whole vanilla beans. And, Vanilla Sea Salt to tie everything together.

Delicious, decadent peanut butter dough so thick you’ll be tempted to roll yourself out a little doughy blanket and fall asleep. Strawberry galore that fills the cracks in your bones your childhood bully left behind. Reese Chips. And, peanut Crumble

Oatmeal, obviously. More oatmeal. Toffee (not the kind in your grandmama’s purse that tasted like mothballs). Apple pie stuffing so decadent, you’ll think it was crafted by Eve. And, finally, granola and brown butter crumble.

No basic white girls were harmed in the baking of these cookies. What was harmed was pumpkin dough, vanilla, sugar, cinnamon, spice and a cappuccino cream cheese so delicious you’ll want to exchange it for your mouthwash.

Whole Pistachios. Crushed Pistachios. Roasted Pistachios. Pistachio paste. Pistachio. Pistachio. Pistachio. Pistachio Cream Pipet. White chocolate. Dark chocolate.

It goes without saying but there’s Nutella in this cookie. There’s Nutella in the dough. There’s Nutella everywhere. There’s Milk Chocolate because there can never be enough chocolate. There’s something called a Praline Feulletine Crisp which we couldn’t tell you the first thing about besides that it is sensationally delicious. Then there’s graham crackers and marshmallows because, well, S’mores.