Better Than S*x
Three variations of chocolate: dark chocolate, rich chocolate and milk chocolate. A mix of both chips and chunks for textural variation. Caramelized butter based dough with the slightest hint of coffee to leave your taste buds guessing. Maldon Sea Salt, just a pinch, to make you salivate and balance out the sweetness.
Cake batter. Why? Uhm… because it’s a birthday cake cookie? Caramelized butter because it’s way tastier (and boujier) than regular butter. Vanilla frosting because everyone hates the asshat that shows up to the Birthday party with some super random icing flavor. Oh, and there is also confetti and sprinkles because we’re celebrating your pretty face.
Peanut Butter, always natural. Peanut Butter cups and chips. Peanut Butter Swirl. Milk Chocolate. Maldon Sea Salt, sprinkled to taste.
When Life gives you Lemons
Lemon, obviously. Lemon Zest (for zest). Marshmallow and vanilla chips to add some fluffy, gooey, fatty sweetness to that zest. Graham Cracker Crust because it’s the only crust that matters, really
The Floor is Lava
Milk chocolate. Dark chocolate. Dutch chocolate. Okay, now we’re just showing off. Espresso, just a hint not enough to leave you jumping off the walls like you’re playing the floor is lava. And, in the center of all of it there is ooey-gooey chocolate core made of ganache, just a fancy schmancy word for chocolate cream.
Macadamia Nuts, toasted. Butter, caramelized. Caramel, salted. Extra rich thick cut white chocolate chunks. A nice sprinkling of Maldon Sea Salt.
The James Dean
Milk, malted. Malt balls. Light Cocoa. Chocolate, both white and semi-sweet. Oreo’s, in fat chunks because no one likes Oreo pixy-dust.
What the F*ck Velvet
Apple Cider Vinegar (for the twang). Buttermilk powder (for more twang). Light cocoa base (for a sweet twang). Homemade extra velvety cream cheese frosting to make your taste buds feel like they’re on an emotional roller-coaster. Red food coloring? Go f*ck yourself.
Not Today Mr. Muffin Man
Wild blueberries from Maine or somewhere near Maine. Those same wild blueberries made into a puree. And, of course, streusel. Crafted on Drury Lane directly across from the Muffin Man’s headquarters.
Netflix And Crunch
Cinnamon, duh. Sugar, duh. Everything nice, duh. Cinnamon streusel, cinnamon graham cracker crust and a generous vanilla milk swirl because we fucking love you. Oh, and we stuff the damn thing with a cinnamon bun filling because we’re deviants.
S'mores Sans Campfire
Fat, fluffy marshmallows, toasted. Dark chocolate for bite. Milk chocolate for love. Cinnamon Graham cracker crust (because what’s a S’more without some Graham Crackers). And, a drizzle of dark chocolate to add the perfect amount of bite.
Marshmallows, thick. Pudding, extra-thick. Ivory white chocolate. Crispy (never soggy) vanilla wafers. Banana. Like, the actual banana not the fake kind that our chemists will have to lie about years down the road. We don’t even have chemists.