Three variations of chocolate: dark chocolate, rich chocolate and milk chocolate. A mix of both chips and chunks for textural variation. Caramelized butter based dough with the slightest hint of coffee to leave your taste buds guessing. Maldon Sea Salt, just a pinch, to make you salivate and balance out the sweetness.

Cake batter. Why? Uhm… because it’s a birthday cake cookie? Caramelized butter because it’s way tastier (and boujier) than regular butter. Vanilla frosting because everyone hates the asshat that shows up to the Birthday party with some super random icing flavor. Oh, and there is also confetti and sprinkles because we’re celebrating your pretty face.

Peanut Butter, always natural. Peanut Butter cups and chips. Peanut Butter Swirl. Milk Chocolate. Maldon Sea Salt, sprinkled to taste.

Milk chocolate. Dark chocolate. Dutch chocolate. Okay, now we’re just showing off. Espresso, just a hint not enough to leave you jumping off the walls like you’re playing the floor is lava. And, in the center of all of it there is ooey-gooey chocolate core made of ganache, just a fancy schmancy word for chocolate cream.

Macadamia Nuts, toasted. Butter, caramelized. Caramel, salted. Extra rich thick cut white chocolate chunks. A nice sprinkling of Maldon Sea Salt.

Milk, malted. Malt balls. Light Cocoa. Chocolate, both white and semi-sweet. Oreo’s, in fat chunks because no one likes Oreo pixy-dust.

Apple Cider Vinegar (for the twang). Buttermilk powder (for more twang). Light cocoa base (for a sweet twang). Homemade extra velvety cream cheese frosting to make your taste buds feel like they’re on an emotional roller-coaster. Red food coloring? Go f*ck yourself.

Wild blueberries from Maine or somewhere near Maine. Those same wild blueberries made into a puree. And, of course, streusel. Crafted on Drury Lane directly across from the Muffin Man’s headquarters.

Cinnamon, duh. Sugar, duh. Everything nice, duh. Cinnamon streusel, cinnamon graham cracker crust and a generous vanilla milk swirl because we fucking love you. Oh, and we stuff the damn thing with a cinnamon bun filling because we’re deviants.

Fat, fluffy marshmallows, toasted. Dark chocolate for bite. Milk chocolate for love. Cinnamon Graham cracker crust (because what’s a S’more without some Graham Crackers). And, a drizzle of dark chocolate to add the perfect amount of bite.

Marshmallows, thick. Pudding, extra-thick. Ivory white chocolate. Crispy (never soggy) vanilla wafers. Banana. Like, the actual banana not the fake kind that our chemists will have to lie about years down the road. We don’t even have chemists.